I love cheese… all cheese. Well, that’s a lie. I don’t like American, and I’m not the biggest fan of Velveeta. But other than that, I’m not a cheese snob. My neighbor has a cheese store and, during the pandemic, would put together DIY charcuterie boxes and drop them off at my door. Getting a cheese delivery was the height of luxury. We also have bread delivery, but that is for another blog post.
Anywhoozal, back to cheese. I’m scrolling through TikTok, and I discover that there is such a thing as a Cheese Witch. This isn’t a joke, this is 100% real. I have never been so excited to join a coven in my life. I have done zero research on this so far. Right now, I am just riding high on the knowledge that someone out there is reading a cheese plate like tea leaves, which makes me so happy. I don’t really want to know more because the thoughts running through my head are delightful, and I don’t want them to turn out to be false.
I have images of women using cheese to cast spells. I can see them standing around at the Whole Foods cheese counter, trying to decide which kind of cheddar will produce the best results and deciding that extra-sharp is the best answer (because it is always the answer). I imagine them lounging about, indulging in cheese, and this makes me immensely happy.
Someday I will grab my best friend and head off on a cheese witch road trip to have our cheese plates read. Until then, I will stay content thinking about fondue night with the cheese coven.
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